This is indeed a strange world. Really, guys like girl on girl actions, and girls are attracted to gay guys, and want our undeniably straight partners (well, most of the time undeniably straight) to be a "metrosexual", a word which I've always assumed to mean "still in the closet".
Now, there's a very interesting difference between the two version of "barking at the wrong tree". You see, guys like the girl on girl actions, and they think lesbians are "hot" because all those online video research always turned out to starred blonde gorgeous women making out. When in fact most of them would find "butch" rather on the unattractive side of things. Us girls seems to be in denials about gay guys. We just wish they are straight. Actually, no. Most of us wish our straight partner can act like gays, because they understand us girls. Or at least, the stereotype is that they understand us. I've yet to know a girl who spend time to do online video research on male homosexual acts.
I'm going to attempt to analyse the guys' case first, because it's straight forward. They like boobies. And what's better than one set of boobies? Two sets of boobies, of course. Plus watching girl on girl action gets rid of the chance of them seeing another man's tool. Guys are like that. There are things that they don't like to be competitive about.
The girls' case is a only a little bit more complicated. We like good looks. There's a reason why all you guys out there think all the male hollywood stars us girls are obsessed about are gay: they're all drop dead gorgeous, wear very smart looking clothes, and the actually care about how they look. Sadly, us girls are shallow that that. I'm not too really sure why paying attention to how you look make you gay, but apperantly it does. We like guys who look good. Oh and sensitive. That's the other thing, we like our guys to have feelings, like we do. And then there's the fact that we do find guys who aren't constantly trying to get into our pants slightly more attractive. Oh, and it helps to not stare at our breasts when we talk too.
So where do we find guys who aren't obsessed with boobies? Gay guys, of course.
In fact, it appears what women really want, is infact another woman. Perferably one who can open jars though. We still need guys for that. Which is why I think if I have a sex change and become a guy, I'll be a real good catch. Well, bar the openning jar bit.
And what guys really want, is p0rn.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Becasue Computer Games are Hurting Our Children...
Weeee! Another gem from the great free country of US of A: Nintendo DS Hurting Children!
Honestly, if you have a bit of time. Read that. I'm not too sure if I should laugh of cry really. The main point of the story is basically about ABC doing this story on NDS because it can talk to other peopel who own a NDS, and some games have WiFi capability.
I kid you not. doesn't matter that the "chat" program doesn't really connect you to the internet, or that you need a "friend-code" to play games with a friend.
I'm not too sure if they even do research for stories like these anymore.
People like to sensationalise stories, so here, are games to avoid to get you child. For they are truely harmful.
Pac-man: "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989.
Enough said.
Katamari Damacy: My brother called this the most violent game in the history of gaming industry. You capture items, animals, and humans using your capture device called a katamari (those darn Japanese with their weapons), sending them to vacuum of space.
Super Mario World: Eating special mushroom to give you "special ability"? Riiiiight.
Dance Dance Revolution: Psychodelic colours in a disco setting, that can never be good. Are you sure your underage child isn't in a club somewhere?
Seriously though, Katamari is addictive. Recently I FINALLY got my hand on the game. My brother and I have been sizing up things when we're driving down road. It's not really a good thing. :P
I think I've gone off topic again. I guess my point is that people are really going too overboard with the whole "there's danger everywhere" thing. Honestly nonadays everything's a potential threat. What happen to living?
And more importantly: What happened to common sense?
Honestly, if you have a bit of time. Read that. I'm not too sure if I should laugh of cry really. The main point of the story is basically about ABC doing this story on NDS because it can talk to other peopel who own a NDS, and some games have WiFi capability.
I kid you not. doesn't matter that the "chat" program doesn't really connect you to the internet, or that you need a "friend-code" to play games with a friend.
I'm not too sure if they even do research for stories like these anymore.
People like to sensationalise stories, so here, are games to avoid to get you child. For they are truely harmful.
Pac-man: "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989.
Enough said.
Katamari Damacy: My brother called this the most violent game in the history of gaming industry. You capture items, animals, and humans using your capture device called a katamari (those darn Japanese with their weapons), sending them to vacuum of space.
Super Mario World: Eating special mushroom to give you "special ability"? Riiiiight.
Dance Dance Revolution: Psychodelic colours in a disco setting, that can never be good. Are you sure your underage child isn't in a club somewhere?
Seriously though, Katamari is addictive. Recently I FINALLY got my hand on the game. My brother and I have been sizing up things when we're driving down road. It's not really a good thing. :P
I think I've gone off topic again. I guess my point is that people are really going too overboard with the whole "there's danger everywhere" thing. Honestly nonadays everything's a potential threat. What happen to living?
And more importantly: What happened to common sense?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Bachelor of Engineering: a four year weight loss program
Those who read my regular "diary blog" will know that yes, I finally bought "French Women Don't Get Fat" (It's pretty good so far). The book basically said that French women don't get fat because it's their way of life, and I was thinking about when or how I put on weight, adn then it dawned on me. I finished my degree.
It's then I realise that my bachelor degree is only a by-product of a four year weight-loss program that cost about $20,000.
It's true. I'll list all the activities we were forced to put through.
20m dash
Those who doesn't know my university (The University of Auckland. Unless you're from NZ I don't expect you to have even heard of it), the engineering building is seperated from the rest of the campus by one of the busiest road in the city. It's not just busy in the sense that there's constant traffic jam: that'd make it easy to cross you see, cars aren't moving. No, Symond St is busy in the sense that there's almost constantly car going at a speed that makes me wonder if it's even legal at all. (Oh, and students with flash cars. Best drivers ever...) So in order to get to just about anything else besides engineering, we have to cross that damned street.
Yes there's an underpass, which requires you to go downstairs and come back up about 200m from wherever it is that you want to get to (it's a magical underpass). There's traffic lights about 100 m up the road. But we're engineering students. We know the shortest distance between two points is always going to be a straight line.
I'm sure we had some pretty good sprinters by the fourth year.
More stairs then you can shake a stick at
There are two reason why you need to take stairs: to get away from university and venture into the "real world" to get food that doesn't taste like deep fried cardboard, or just to get to another floor in the engineering building.
I'll tackle the first rason first. It's no secret that the main cafe serve food that can be classified into these three catagory: deep fried cardboards, steal sandwiches, and left over form the sushi shop in the city (no, seriously. How could it be THIS dry?) In order to get food that would be satisfied by us young'uns (Yes, some of us have taste too), we have to get out of the university. The university is cunningly hidden by a park, situated on a slope. In order to get out of here, we need to walk down the stairs. You might not think it's much. Bu try racing that up just so you won't be late for tutorials.
The second point is probably why I'm more convinced the degree is designed as a weight loss program. The engineering building is designed to be a narrow, but tall building (except for the few bottom floors, there the labs are). We do like to see lectures every so often, if not just to make sure that they really don't want to give away exam questions. Now we DO have an elevator... built in the 60s. It's one of the slowest elevator in the university, going all the way up to 12th floor, and have a tendency to break down every so often.
The electrical and electronic department is on the 8th floor. Have fun.
Skipping meals
Did I mention a lot of us don't have linux at home and have to work at uni? Did I mention there are more students than computers? Did I mention you relaly NEED to work 7 days a week during the break to finish the projects? And did I mention if you got a computer and leave for lunch, you won't have a computer for the rest of the day?
Just saying.
Conclusions
The reason why I gained weight is becasue I stopped being an undergrad. The addition of new food outlets (not perfect... but it's slightly better then deep fried cardboard) makes me lazy as well. I need to live like an undergrad again to loss weight.
It's then I realise that my bachelor degree is only a by-product of a four year weight-loss program that cost about $20,000.
It's true. I'll list all the activities we were forced to put through.
20m dash
Those who doesn't know my university (The University of Auckland. Unless you're from NZ I don't expect you to have even heard of it), the engineering building is seperated from the rest of the campus by one of the busiest road in the city. It's not just busy in the sense that there's constant traffic jam: that'd make it easy to cross you see, cars aren't moving. No, Symond St is busy in the sense that there's almost constantly car going at a speed that makes me wonder if it's even legal at all. (Oh, and students with flash cars. Best drivers ever...) So in order to get to just about anything else besides engineering, we have to cross that damned street.
Yes there's an underpass, which requires you to go downstairs and come back up about 200m from wherever it is that you want to get to (it's a magical underpass). There's traffic lights about 100 m up the road. But we're engineering students. We know the shortest distance between two points is always going to be a straight line.
I'm sure we had some pretty good sprinters by the fourth year.
More stairs then you can shake a stick at
There are two reason why you need to take stairs: to get away from university and venture into the "real world" to get food that doesn't taste like deep fried cardboard, or just to get to another floor in the engineering building.
I'll tackle the first rason first. It's no secret that the main cafe serve food that can be classified into these three catagory: deep fried cardboards, steal sandwiches, and left over form the sushi shop in the city (no, seriously. How could it be THIS dry?) In order to get food that would be satisfied by us young'uns (Yes, some of us have taste too), we have to get out of the university. The university is cunningly hidden by a park, situated on a slope. In order to get out of here, we need to walk down the stairs. You might not think it's much. Bu try racing that up just so you won't be late for tutorials.
The second point is probably why I'm more convinced the degree is designed as a weight loss program. The engineering building is designed to be a narrow, but tall building (except for the few bottom floors, there the labs are). We do like to see lectures every so often, if not just to make sure that they really don't want to give away exam questions. Now we DO have an elevator... built in the 60s. It's one of the slowest elevator in the university, going all the way up to 12th floor, and have a tendency to break down every so often.
The electrical and electronic department is on the 8th floor. Have fun.
Skipping meals
Did I mention a lot of us don't have linux at home and have to work at uni? Did I mention there are more students than computers? Did I mention you relaly NEED to work 7 days a week during the break to finish the projects? And did I mention if you got a computer and leave for lunch, you won't have a computer for the rest of the day?
Just saying.
Conclusions
The reason why I gained weight is becasue I stopped being an undergrad. The addition of new food outlets (not perfect... but it's slightly better then deep fried cardboard) makes me lazy as well. I need to live like an undergrad again to loss weight.
Friday, January 27, 2006
I put the "fun" in "fundamentalism"!
We've been having a few interesting episodes with some, err, let's say not so mentally flexible people, in the last week or so. While I still found it funny that Pete got accused to be a filthy liberal (tehehe... that's an understatment), I just can't help but to think what'd happen if I'm an fundamentalist as well...
So, I set out to look for the Holy Text that is the bible, and start to find out what I'm supposed to quote to people, to be a good bible quoter.
Judges 11:34-40
I won't quote the whole thing here, basically Jephthah promised that Lord that if he wins a battle against his foe, he'll burn the first person that come out of his house to meet him as an offering. He won the battle, and when he went home, his daughter came out to meet him. So after agonising about burning his daughter, his daughter said she understood and will die to be an offering. She asked her father for one thing "Do this one thing for me. Leave me alone for two months, so that I can go with my friends to wander in the moutains and grieve that I must die a virgin."
And that's what they did.
Moral of the story: Don't make promise of the Lord about burning people. He has an interesting sense of humour.
Oh, and don't die a virgin. 'Tis indeed a sad sad thing.
Proverbs 23:9
"Don't try to talk sense to a fool; he can't appreciate it"
This shall be the motto of all fundamentalist. It provides an excellent excuse for not explaining things that they can't explain.
I shall remember this to heart.
Leviticus 13:47-59
Wonderful passage about what to do with mildew on clothings. Did you know that if you have greenish or reddish mildew on clothing, you shoud show that to your priest? He shall put it away for seven days, and on the seventh day, if it had spread the priest would have to burn the article of clothings.
Moral of the story: Thou shalt use a dehumidifier. That was surely Lord's way to inspire us to invent it.
Leviticus 18:22
"No man is to have sexual relationships with another mad; God hates that"
I love the Today's English Version bible.
So they were right, God hates the gays. It said so in the bible. In the same section that talks about burning clothing with spreading mildew.
Lesbians are alright in his book. No mention of them anyway.
Seriously...
Being a Chrsitian myself, I realise some of the above might be a little bit harsh. The point remains: the Bible was inspired by God, and need to be read in context of the time when it was written. Listen to your conscience more, drink lots of water, eat well, exercise regularly, and love each other. Afterall, the word Christians implies following Christ's example, which is to love and serve each other, not quoting the bible and tell people they're wrong.
So, I set out to look for the Holy Text that is the bible, and start to find out what I'm supposed to quote to people, to be a good bible quoter.
Judges 11:34-40
I won't quote the whole thing here, basically Jephthah promised that Lord that if he wins a battle against his foe, he'll burn the first person that come out of his house to meet him as an offering. He won the battle, and when he went home, his daughter came out to meet him. So after agonising about burning his daughter, his daughter said she understood and will die to be an offering. She asked her father for one thing "Do this one thing for me. Leave me alone for two months, so that I can go with my friends to wander in the moutains and grieve that I must die a virgin."
And that's what they did.
Moral of the story: Don't make promise of the Lord about burning people. He has an interesting sense of humour.
Oh, and don't die a virgin. 'Tis indeed a sad sad thing.
Proverbs 23:9
"Don't try to talk sense to a fool; he can't appreciate it"
This shall be the motto of all fundamentalist. It provides an excellent excuse for not explaining things that they can't explain.
I shall remember this to heart.
Leviticus 13:47-59
Wonderful passage about what to do with mildew on clothings. Did you know that if you have greenish or reddish mildew on clothing, you shoud show that to your priest? He shall put it away for seven days, and on the seventh day, if it had spread the priest would have to burn the article of clothings.
Moral of the story: Thou shalt use a dehumidifier. That was surely Lord's way to inspire us to invent it.
Leviticus 18:22
"No man is to have sexual relationships with another mad; God hates that"
I love the Today's English Version bible.
So they were right, God hates the gays. It said so in the bible. In the same section that talks about burning clothing with spreading mildew.
Lesbians are alright in his book. No mention of them anyway.
Seriously...
Being a Chrsitian myself, I realise some of the above might be a little bit harsh. The point remains: the Bible was inspired by God, and need to be read in context of the time when it was written. Listen to your conscience more, drink lots of water, eat well, exercise regularly, and love each other. Afterall, the word Christians implies following Christ's example, which is to love and serve each other, not quoting the bible and tell people they're wrong.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Torment you kids today - give them a strange name!
I thought as a first post, I should justify the name of this blog.
"Lucifer Cheesecake" has been a running joke between me and my fiance, as to what to name our kid. Look if Gwyneth can called her daughter "Apple", I can call my son Lucifer. Or Lucy for short. It's cute!
To balance things a little, we'll give him a not-so-evil sounding middle name. The first thing came to my head was "Cheesecake". (I was hungry)
Honestly, the whole weird name thing seems to be trendy now. What with celebraties naming theirs with things like Coco, Apple, and what about the Beckhams boys?
It's not just a thing for the rich and famous either. I blame it on the fact that the world is getting too crowded. What better way to be unique then a strange name? My music teacher from high school named her daughter Jaz. With one Z. I also know of a lady who named her daughter Liberty-Jane. (It kinda sound like a super hero name doesn't it?)
If you don't have enough heart to totally ruin your offspring's life, why not give them a normal name with creative spelling? I've dealt with someone called Leesa. That's the first I've seen someone spelling my own name that way. And for extra fun, name your daughter Kristine or Cristine, or Chrystine, even. (She'll learn to spell her name out straight after introducing herself to people. She might even develop an interest in spelling, you never know.)
And if you are stuck with a common name, you can be creative and change your own name! It's easier if you're Chinese, of course, since we pick our own "English name". Conveniently, it's not on any legal document, so we can change it whenever we want. I know a friend with two names that she interchanges between. Then there is this guy who changed his name because he started going out with a girl called Juliet. You can see where that is going. I guess this is a bit like getting your girlfriend's name tattooed on your arm. It's a bit less painful though, I guess.
I doubt I can get away with naming my son "Lucifer" though. A while ago I heard a story about a Japanese guy in the US trying to name his son Satan and he wasn't allowed to. Some freedom of speech huh. That and my fiance thought mentally tormenting our son might not be that good of an idea. We might name him something boring instead like Arthur.
At least I can name my blog whatever I want without ruining its life.
"Lucifer Cheesecake" has been a running joke between me and my fiance, as to what to name our kid. Look if Gwyneth can called her daughter "Apple", I can call my son Lucifer. Or Lucy for short. It's cute!
To balance things a little, we'll give him a not-so-evil sounding middle name. The first thing came to my head was "Cheesecake". (I was hungry)
Honestly, the whole weird name thing seems to be trendy now. What with celebraties naming theirs with things like Coco, Apple, and what about the Beckhams boys?
It's not just a thing for the rich and famous either. I blame it on the fact that the world is getting too crowded. What better way to be unique then a strange name? My music teacher from high school named her daughter Jaz. With one Z. I also know of a lady who named her daughter Liberty-Jane. (It kinda sound like a super hero name doesn't it?)
If you don't have enough heart to totally ruin your offspring's life, why not give them a normal name with creative spelling? I've dealt with someone called Leesa. That's the first I've seen someone spelling my own name that way. And for extra fun, name your daughter Kristine or Cristine, or Chrystine, even. (She'll learn to spell her name out straight after introducing herself to people. She might even develop an interest in spelling, you never know.)
And if you are stuck with a common name, you can be creative and change your own name! It's easier if you're Chinese, of course, since we pick our own "English name". Conveniently, it's not on any legal document, so we can change it whenever we want. I know a friend with two names that she interchanges between. Then there is this guy who changed his name because he started going out with a girl called Juliet. You can see where that is going. I guess this is a bit like getting your girlfriend's name tattooed on your arm. It's a bit less painful though, I guess.
I doubt I can get away with naming my son "Lucifer" though. A while ago I heard a story about a Japanese guy in the US trying to name his son Satan and he wasn't allowed to. Some freedom of speech huh. That and my fiance thought mentally tormenting our son might not be that good of an idea. We might name him something boring instead like Arthur.
At least I can name my blog whatever I want without ruining its life.
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